It's early one monday morning at the law offices of Dewey, Cheetum & Howe. It's a plesant looking office, it has everything you would expect in a Law office. Generic Art on the walls, IKEA furnature, fake house plants, etc. But, as you go further in to the office, there is a smaller office. One occupied by Arnold James Flying Hippotamus Armbruster. But, you can just call him Arnie J! Snookie, the vaguely asian looking office matron, walks into Arnie's office.
"Arnie? Are you in here?" She asks.
Snookie is looking for the top lawyer at the firm & that's not really saying much. Since, they are pretty much a bottom of the barrel law firm. They are most everyone's last resort before the client desided to not have legal representation. Snookie finds Arnie past out behind his desk on the floor, in his hand is a bottle of Arnie's best friend, Jack Daniels. Snookie shakes Arnie's shoulder to wake him up. His eyes shoot open. He jumps up & yells "Don't eat me!" & then screams. Then, he realized where he is. He regains his composure. He turns to see Snookie.
"Yes, Snookie. What can I do for you?"
"I came to tell you that you agreed to go that Super Hero Convention for the Law Firm."
"I did? When did this happen?"
"Yes. You agreed last week."
"oh. Why am I going to this?"
"Because you said you would & maybe we could get a higher class of clients."
"We got high class clients!"
"The likes of Jimmy the Idiot Boy, Marv Albert & The New Battlers are not really high class! If you could get one of the Lair Legion to have us as their legal representation would be cool!"
"I doubt that. They got the hot chick Lisa to do all their legal stuff & she's got super powers or something like that."
"Ok. Maybe you could get the JBH? Their just the next step down."
"Maybe, but I think Lisa also covers them."
"Maybe if you hand out business cards to every super powered Tom, Dick & Harry they just may call us if they need help. Because I hear Lisa is expensive & not all heroes can afford her."
"Ok. When's this super hero pow-wow?"
"Today, Tomarrow & the next day."
"oh. When do I have to be there?"
Snookie looks at her watch. "Uh... a hour ago."
"Good. Don't want to be to early."
Arnie leaves the Office to go to the WeirdSciCon.
------------------
A week later....
Snookie is doing some filing & the phone rings. She picks up. "The Law Offices of Dewey, Sheetum & Howe. The home of cut rate legal representation! This is Snookie, how may I help you?"
"Uh Huh, yeah. Ok. EWWW, that's gross. So, you went to everywhere else & they regrected you? We get that alot, so I think we may be able to help you. So, we have a few payment plans that would fit in with your situation. So, just come on down to the office & we'll talk. Also, how did you hear of us? Got a card at the WeirdSciCon? Yeah, Cool!"
Then, Snookie hung up. They have a celebrity coming in, an F-Level celebrity but it's higher then the normally get!
Another or two later, a man dressed in highly stylized costumes that appears to be modeled after the American Flag & other US symbols walks into the office.
"Is this Dewey, Cheetum & Howe?" He asks.
"That's the name on the door!" Snookie says. "Are you Free Speech?"
"Yes."
"Ok. If you'd sit down on the couch over there & a lawyer will be will you shortly."
"Sure." the man known as Free Speech said, then went over to the couches accross the room & sat down. He picked up an old copy of the a magizine to read. The cover story was if Clinton was going to be the next president or was Dole?
Sometime later, Snookie told the costumed adventurer that they were ready for him & that his lawyer was awaiting him in Room 5. Free Speech got up & walked down a short hallway to Room 5. He walked in & waiting there is Mr. Armbruster.
"Hello, Mr. Stephenson."
"Hi. I didn't know anyone here knew my real name?"
"I did some research."
"oh."
"So, what exactly do you want me to do?"
"I want to counter sue the OPS."
"That's the government!"
"I know. I actually only want to counter sue a member of that group."
"Given your get-up & what I know about you, I think I know who you want to sue."
"It's counter sue! He sued me first!"
"Yes, yes. Mr. Epitome I heard can be a hard ass sometimes."
"Sometime? I heard if you stuck a piece of coal up his butt & waited a month, you'd get a diamond!"
"But, would you want too?"
"I don't know."
"So, why do you think he's suing you?"
"According to the lawsuit, he considers me an enfringement on his copyright!"
"A Patrotic Hero with US symbols used as a costume. Yeah, I could see the connection."
"Yeah but, I doubt Mr. Epitome has anything to be worried about. We don't even do the same things or even hang out with the same people!"
"So, you think it is an uncalled lawsuit?"
"Yes."
"I think I can ge this lawsuit dropped."
"Thanks!"
"Now, here comes the hard part for you."
"What?"
"payment."
"oh. The girl at the front desk said there were mulitple payment plans?"
"Yes. Yes, there is." Arnie said as he slde a piece of paper across the table.
Free Speech picks up the piece of paper & looks at it. "I'll take option 4!"
"Ok." Arnie said & stood up "I'll get in touch with you in a few days & tell you what's up" He said & then offered his hand.
Free Speech stood up & shook Arnie's hand, said Thanks & then left.
Arnie had no idea how he's going to get this lawsuit dropped, but he's get paid & that's what matters!
THE END!
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